


Love is All About the Heart

by ourdestiny



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 08:24:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12477392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourdestiny/pseuds/ourdestiny
Summary: "Love, ultimately, is about the heart not about the truth."Jongin was faced with a tough situation and he had to choose to follow what his heart wanted or gave in to the truth.





	Love is All About the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> So I was watching TV when I came across this Korean drama which I couldn't remember what the title was, and there was this quote in the drama that touched me. It was on the title as well as the summary lol
> 
> It immediately made me think of Sekai and tadaaaaa this fic happened xD
> 
> I was getting worse at finishing my fics (I still have a lot of WIP) but thankfully I managed to finish this one. So here you go.
> 
> This is unbeta-ed so I apologize for any mistakes.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy^^
> 
> WARNINGS: MENTION OF SELF-HARM AND PROSTITUTION

Jongin entered the cafe and looked around to find the person he was looking for. A smile bloomed on his face when he spotted the person and he excitedly made his way to the corner of the cafe.

 

“Hey, baby.” Jongin dropped a kiss to the top of Sehun’s head. Sehun flinched a little bit at the sudden contact and Jongin chuckled because it was really easy to scare Sehun.

 

“Stop doing that.” Sehun pouted. Jongin smiled before ruffling Sehun’s hair and sat across him on the small table.

 

“It’s cute, the way you flinch in surprise.”

 

“It’s not.” Sehun scowled.

 

Jongin shrugged. “It is cute for me. You look like a surprised baby.”

 

“I hate you.” Sehun muttered half-heartedly.

 

“I know.” Jongin replied easily. He laughed at Sehun’s sour expression and leaned forward to steal a quick kiss on the younger’s lips. “Have you ordered the food?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Okay, I will call the waitress.”

 

After ordering their foods, Jongin linked their legs together under the table and stared at Sehun.

 

“What?” Sehun looked at him curiously.

 

“Tomorrow is our first anniversary.”

 

There’s a small smile playing on Sehun’s lips. “I know. And?”

 

“I want you to meet my parents.” Jongin said seriously.

 

Sehun’s jaw dropped and Jongin watched him carefully. He knew it was a very sudden decision and he knew it must have scared Sehun. But he was serious with Sehun and he wanted Sehun to know that. Besides, his mother kept pestering him to bring his boyfriend home for dinner. His parents were supportive of him being gay and he was forever grateful for that. He knew his parents were going to love Sehun like he did.

 

“Jongin,” Sehun gasped, “are you serious?”

 

“Very.”

 

“But why? I mean, you know. We-I just-but.” Sehun stopped and his face suddenly looked so pale Jongin started to worry.

 

“Baby, you alright?” Jongin held Sehun’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

 

Sehun took a deep breath before he spoke again. “I am not sure about this. What if they hate me?”

 

Jongin chuckled. Of course Sehun would be worried about that. “Don’t worry, Sehun. They know I am dating you and I have shown them your picture. They are going to love you.”

 

Sehun bit his lower lip nervously. “Are you sure?”

 

Jongin nodded his head. “Trust me.”

 

“But really, what if they hate me? Are you going to break up with me?” Sehun looked at him with terrified eyes and Jongin felt his heart dropped that Sehun had that kind of thought.

 

“Sehun, I love you. I mean it when I say I love you. I won’t leave you just because my parents don’t like you.” Jongin held Sehun’s hand tighter. He needed to make sure Sehun knew he was serious. “Stop thinking too much. They are going to like you, I promise.” At Sehun’s skeptical look, he quickly added, “but if you are not ready, then I am not going to force you. We will go when you are ready, okay?”

 

“No. Let’s go tomorrow.” Sehun suddenly looked determined.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes. I am serious about us too, and if you want me to meet your parents, then let’s do it.” Sehun looked straight into his eyes and Jongin had never been more in love with someone.

 

“Okay. Thank you, Sehun.” Jongin said sincerely.

 

Sehun smiled. “Don’t thank me you silly. But, can we still go out and have lunch together tomorrow? I actually planned to have a romantic dinner with you at some fancy restaurant, but the plan has changed, so let’s go out for lunch instead.”

 

“Of course, baby. Anything for you.” Jongin kissed the back of Sehun’s hand and grinned when Sehun blushed. “Cute.”

 

“Shut up.” Sehun groaned but there was a shy smile on his face and yes, Jongin had never been more in love with someone in his life before.

  


***

  


Jongin woke up to the feeling of someone’s mouth around his cock. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was.

 

“That feels good.” He rasped out and moaned softly when Sehun hummed around him. His hand found its way to Sehun’s head before he tangled his fingers around the soft hair. He pushed Sehun’s head down gently and he grunted when he felt Sehun’s throat relaxing before he slipped in further. Sehun was a master at deep-throating, had always been since they started dating. Jongin never asked how and where Sehun learned how to do that because honestly, he didn’t care.

 

Sehun purposely swallowed around him and he threw his head back on the pillow with a loud moan.

 

“Fuck, Sehun.” He let go of Sehun’s hair so Sehun could pull away to take some breath because he knew the younger needed it.

 

“Good morning.” Sehun’s voice was hoarse and Jongin finally opened his eyes. He peered down at Sehun sleepily and saw the latter pumping his shaft leisurely, lips red and swollen, hair messy and Sehun really looked so fuckable right now.

 

“G’morning.” Jongin sighed when Sehun took him in again and he was more awake now, eyes never leaving Sehun. He was getting close. The view under him was just too hot for words and the way Sehun’s tongue skillfully licking the head of his leaking cock was not helping either.

 

“Baby,” he gasped and Sehun looked up at him, lips still stretched prettily around him, “I wanna fuck you.”

 

That’s all it took for Sehun to release him with a loud ‘pop’ before scrambling up to press his lips against Jongin’s. Jongin licked the roof of Sehun’s mouth sensually, tasting himself, a bit of morning breath, but mostly he tasted the sweetness which was Sehun. He trailed his hand along the expanse of Sehun’s smooth back until he reached Sehun’s ass. He gave the right cheek a firm squeeze that cause Sehun to whimper in his mouth.

 

Before he could tease Sehun’s rim with his finger, Sehun suddenly sat up and looked at Jongin with his very dark eyes and Jongin was entranced.

 

“Just stay still. I will do all the job for you.” Sehun smirked.

 

“Sehun what-” He didn’t get to finish his words because Sehun had leaned down to kiss him again.

 

“Relax and enjoy the show.” Sehun muttered against his lips before pulling away.

 

Jongin obeyed and he watched his boyfriend retrieved the lube from the nightstand. It all clicked when Sehun turned around and sat on his laps. His breath was practically knocked out of him when Sehun got on all four, giving Jongin the perfect view of his perfect ass, his hole pink and still tight because it’s not prepped yet.

 

Jongin shifted a little bit on the bed, trying to made himself comfortable and relaxed his body though his cock was all but relaxed right now.

 

Sehun uncapped the bottle and poured a decent amount of the lychee-flavoured lube onto his fingers. He wrapped his left hand around Jongin’s ankle to steady himself and brought his other hand to his entrance. Jongin let out a low groan when Sehun wriggled his hips and Jongin knew Sehun was doing it on purpose to torture him.

 

His eyes were transfixed at Sehun’s forefinger that were circling his own rim teasingly. His breath hitched a little bit when Sehun finally pushed the finger in. Sehun let out a loud satisfied sigh before he started moving his finger in and out of his hole. Jongin could only lay there and watch, cock red and leaking non-stop with precum.

 

He could touch himself. He knew Sehun wouldn’t mind. But this was a game he was playing with himself. He wanted to see how long he was going to last.

 

Sehun added a second finger and Jongin knew his lover had found his prostate when Sehun’s body jerked, knees almost giving up. Jongin grips Sehun’s hips tightly and Sehun continued his ministration.

 

Broken moans escaped Sehun’s mouth when the younger added the third finger. The movement of his hand was getting sloppier and Jongin knew Sehun was frustrated because he was close but not close enough because he always needed Jongin’s cock to make him come.

 

Jongin sat up and ran his palm on the soft skin of Sehun’s ass. “You close, baby?” It’s a rhetorical question, really, but he still asked anyway, just because.

 

Sehun let out a frustrated huff and Jongin chuckled lowly. He bent down to blow hot air into Sehun’s filled hole and smiled when Sehun whined. “Pull it out.” He ordered and Sehun complied easily.

 

Jongin pushed Sehun forward a little bit because the angle was uncomfortable for his neck. When he was comfortable, he didn’t waste any time before pushing his tongue into Sehun. Sehun’s surprise moan was music to his ear and he pushed in deeper, faster, until Sehun’s body was shaking in pleasure before he let his upper body fell onto the bed.

 

“Jongin,” Sehun gasped and Jongin hummed, “I need you now.”

 

Jongin didn’t need to be told twice because he was in the same state as Sehun. He pulled his tongue out before wiping the lube and drool off with the back of his hand. He lied back down on the bed before guiding Sehun to sit on his laps again. “Ride me.”

 

Sehun looked at him through his shoulders before smiling at him. “Gladly.” Sehun lifted himself up from the bed a little bit before holding Jongin’s hard cock in his hand. He gave it a few pumps before guiding it into his entrance.

 

Jongin watched as Sehun slowly sank down onto him. From this position, he could see the way his cock slid in and out of Sehun and oh god, he didn’t think he would last long because it was such a sinful view.

 

Sehun leaned forward and braced his hands on Jongin’s legs before he bounced faster on Jongin’s cock.

 

“You are taking me so well.” Jongin praised and Sehun clenched around him in response. “Fuck.” Jongin cursed and even though he couldn’t see Sehun’s face from this position he knew Sehun was smirking.

 

The moans that left Sehun’s lips were getting louder and the way he bounced on top of Jongin was getting sloppier. Jongin knew his lover was close but he didn’t want Sehun to come when they were in this position.

 

Reluctantly, he forced Sehun’s hips to slow down before completely stopping him. Sehun turned his head around to throw him a confused look. Jongin just smiled before he sat up and pressed a soft kiss on Sehun’s shoulder. “Wanna see your face when you cum.”

 

He felt the way Sehun’s shuddered at those words and he smiled onto Sehun’s skin. “Come on.”

 

Sehun lifted his hips up before he lied down on the space next to Jongin. Jongin rolled over and hovered over Sehun, grinning down at him. “Hi.”

 

Sehun chuckled before he wrapped his arms around Jongin’s shoulders. “Are you going to fuck me or not?”

 

Jongin pushed into Sehun without warning and he revelled at the loud moan that Sehun made. “I am.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Next time.” Jongin winked before claiming Sehun’s mouth with his. Sehun responded eagerly and Jongin started to snap his hips faster and deeper. Jongin swallowed Sehun’s moans when he finally found Sehun’s sweet spot.

 

Jongin pulled away from the kiss to straighten up before he lifted both of Sehun’s legs up until Sehun was folded in half before he spreaded Sehun’s legs apart so he could see his boyfriend’s face. It never failed to amaze him how flexible Sehun was.

 

Sehun’s hair was damp from sweat and his face was red from arousal. His dark eyes never left Jongin and Jongin felt the heat pooling in his stomach. Sehun would always be the death of him. Always.

 

“You look so good like this.” Jongin breathed out.

 

“You should see yourself too.” Sehun replied with a breathless chuckle.

 

“Come on baby, come for me. I want you to come untouch. Can you do that for me?” Jongin kept aiming for Sehun’s prostate and Sehun was too lost in pleasure to properly reply him. It’s okay though, he already knew Sehun’s answer to that question.

 

It only took him two more deep thrusts before Sehun spilled all over his torso. Sehun’s body spasmed and he clenched impossibly tight around Jongin and that’s all it took for Jongin to reach his climax.

 

Jongin let go of Sehun’s legs before he fell on top of Sehun, not minding about the mess on Sehun’s stomach. He was used to it already.

 

“Happy one year anniversary, hon.” Sehun muttered onto Jongin’s hair and Jongin smiled against Sehun’s chest.

 

“Happy anniversary, baby.”

 

“It has been an amazing year. Thank you so much for loving me, and letting me love you back. I love you.”

 

“So mushy,” Jongin chuckled, “I love you too, Sehun. I can’t wait to spend more anniversaries with you.”

 

He felt a kiss on the crown of his head and it made his smile grew wider. “Ditto.”

 

“We need to get ready now or else we will be late for lunch. I booked the table for 12.30.” Sehun informed.

 

“Five more minutes.” Jongin snuggled deeper into Sehun and he knew Sehun couldn’t say no to cuddling.

 

“Fine.” Sehun agreed easily.

  


***

  


They decided to talk a walk at a nearby park after they finished their lunch. With their fingers linked together they walked through the serene park. Not a lot of people were around and Jongin was glad because he was never fond of crowds.

 

“I am happy.” Sehun suddenly said.

 

“Huh?” Jongin asked, slightly taken aback because it came out of nowhere.

 

“I have never been this happy in my life before.” There was something weird from the way Sehun said it but Jongin couldn’t exactly point out what it was.

 

“I am happy too.” He said instead.

 

Sehun looked at him with a meaningful smile on his face. “You make me happy. Thank you, Jongin.”

 

Jongin stopped walking and forced Sehun to face him completely. “You make me happy too.”

 

Jongin swore he saw tears in Sehun’s eyes but it was gone as fast as it appeared it made him wonder if he was just imagining it. “You have no idea how much you mean to me. I won’t be who I am today if not for you.” Sehun said and Jongin grew even more confused.

 

“Sehun, is there something you want to tell me?”

 

Sehun shook his head with a smile on his face. “Just want to let you know about my feelings.”

 

Just when Jongin was about to say something, someone called Sehun’s name and both of them turned their head to the direction of the voice. Jongin saw a guy shorter than him with bleached hair and dark eyeliners decorating his eyes. The guy looked pretty but kind of intimidating at the same time. Jongin had never seen him before and he wondered how did the guy know Sehun.

 

Speaking of Sehun, his boyfriend had turned pale and his body was tensed. “Sehun?”

 

Sehun didn’t hear him and his gaze was fixed on the stranger that was coming closer towards them.

 

“Oh my god, it’s really you!” The stranger exclaimed excitedly before pulling Sehun into a hug. Sehun stayed motionless and Jongin looked at him worriedly. “Where have you been? You suddenly went missing. You didn’t pick up my calls or reply my texts. Do you know how worried I was?”

 

“Baekhyun..” Sehun said weakly and he sounded scared. Jongin didn’t know why but his protective instinct kicked in. He didn’t know who this stranger was but he was definitely the reason why Sehun was looking scared and uncomfortable.

 

But before he could say or do anything, the stranger--Baekhyun--started to speak up again. “You clients kept asking about you. Everyone missed you. How could you just run away like that without even bothering to tell me. I swear to god I would have punched you if I was not too happy to see you. I thought one of your clients kidnapped you or something. I am just glad you are alright.”

 

Jongin furrowed his eyebrows in confusions. What clients were Baekhyun talking about? As far as he knew, Sehun had only started working after he graduated from uni one year ago after they met. Sehun never mentioned anything about him having a part-time job in the past.

 

“Things happened.” Sehun finally answered and Jongin stepped closer to him instinctively because he could feel Sehun’s uneasiness.

 

Baekhyun paid him no mind and for a second he wondered if he had suddenly become invisible.

 

“How’s your mother?” Baekhyun asked.

 

Sehun visibly tensed next to him and Jongin sent him a worried look. “Sehun, you okay?”

 

“Who are you?” Baekhyun finally looked at him.

 

“I am his boyfriend. And who are you?” Jongin narrowed his eyes at Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun looked back and forth between him and Sehun before he suddenly let out a soft gasp. “Oh my god, he doesn’t know, does he?” Baekhyun asked Sehun with panic written all over his face.

 

Sehun’s body was shaking right now and Jongin wrapped his arm around Sehun’s shoulder to pull him closer. “Sehun, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asked frantically.

 

“Sehun, I am so sorry. I didn’t know, oh god.” Baekhyun looked close to tears as well and Jongin was confused as hell. He didn’t know what’s going on but he knew he needed to protect Sehun.

 

“Please leave.” Jongin said sternly at Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun covered his mouth with his hands while kept staring at Sehun with wide eyes. “I am sorry, Sehun. You know where to find me if you need me.” Baekhyun said with so much guilt in his voice. Baekhyun casted Jongin one last glance before he turned around and walked away.

 

After Baekhyun left, Jongin turned Sehun around in his arms to look at him. Sehun was crying silently and it broke Jongin’s heart to see him like this. It made him feel even worse because he didn’t know what’s going on. “Baby, why are you crying?” He asked in a gentle voice.

 

Sehun didn’t answer him and hung his head low. He had never seen Sehun like this before and even though he wanted to know what happened, Sehun’s well-being always came first. “Let’s go home.” Jongin said softly before holding Sehun’s hand in his. He squeezed it gently, hoping it could calm Sehun down a little bit.

  


***

  


Sehun was silent throughout the ride, saved for the few sobs he let out once in a while. Jongin was having a hard time concentrating on driving because all he wanted to do was to pull Sehun into a hug until Sehun stopped crying. He didn’t want to force Sehun to tell him what happened. He knew Sehun was going to tell him when it was the right time. But it didn’t help in making him less worried.

 

Sehun was still silent when they entered the elevator. Jongin kept glancing at him and each time he did, his heart cracked even more because Sehun looked so broken.

 

Jongin pushed Sehun down to sit on the couch before he headed to the kitchen. Usually when Sehun was feeling down, warm milk would always make him feel better, and Jongin hoped it’s going to work too this time.

 

Walking back to the living room, Sehun was still in the same position he left him earlier, completely unmoving. Holding back a sad sigh, he sat next to Sehun on the couch before handing Sehun the cup.

 

Sehun only stared at it and Jongin finally sighed. “Sehun.” He called out as softly as he could and he felt his stomach twisted uncomfortably inside him when Sehun looked away, staring blankly at the wall instead.

 

He decided to put the cup down on the table and just sat there, waiting for Sehun to say something. He didn’t care how long it would take, he would wait.

 

Ten minutes passed before Sehun finally opened his mouth. “I have something to tell you.” His voice was slightly hoarse and it cracked at the end of the sentence. Sehun was still not looking at him but Jongin was fine with it. Anything that made Sehun comfortable.

 

“What is it?” He coaxed carefully, sitting more upright and shifting closer to Sehun until their thighs were pressed against each other. Sehun flinched but didn’t pull away.

 

“I am not who you think I am.”

 

Jongin furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

Sehun exhaled shakily and Jongin reached out to hold Sehun’s hand as a sign of encouragement for him to continue.

 

“I never attended college. I worked as soon as I graduated from high school. I didn’t have enough money so I had to give up on college.” Sehun started and Jongin gaped.

 

“What..what are you talking about?” Sehun told Jongin that he was a student in Yonsei University when they first met so this was a shocking news to him.

 

But Sehun wasn’t done yet. “I am not working in a company like I told you all this time. I am working as a shop assistant in a shoe shop in the mall downtown.”

 

Jongin was too shocked to say anything. Sehun was crying again but Jongin couldn’t bring himself to wipe the tears away.

 

“My mom..she is not working in Japan like what I told you. She..she passed away eight months ago.” Sehun choked out and Jongin stared at him with wide eyes. Sehun lied to him about his mother too? “She got into an accident when I just graduated from high school. She fell into a coma so she needed to stay in the hospital. There were only two of us. My mom only had me and the money I earned from working in a cafe and a bookshop was not enough to cover it. So I..” Sehun trailed off and no one prepared Jongin for what’s about to come next.

 

“I-I became a prostitute. It didn’t pay much but it was enough to pay the hospital bill.”

 

Jongin suddenly couldn’t breathe. His head spinning and his vision blurring. He let go of Sehun’s hand before he moved away, creating a space between them. He missed the hurt look in Sehun’s eyes because the sound of his heart breaking was too loud for him to pay attention to anything else.

 

“I am sorry I lied to you. I just..That moment when I saw you for the first time in the cafe, I immediately fell in love with you. I have never experienced that kind of feeling before. And I just really wanted to be with you. But I know, if you know the truth about me, you won’t even come close to me,” Sehun paused to take a deep breath, his face was so red and wet, “That’s why I lied to you, about my background, about my family, about my job. I did it solely because I wanted to be with you.”

 

“Y-you are sleeping around with other people when you are with me?” Jongin hated how broken he sounded but he needed to know.

 

Sehun finally looked at him with wide eyes while shaking his head frantically. “I quit after I met you. You need to trust me.”

 

How ironic, Jongin thought to himself. He chuckled bitterly. “How can i trust you after all of this? You basically lied to me about everything, Sehun. Is Sehun even your real name?”

 

Sehun bit his lower lip. “I-”

 

“When you said you love me, is that a lie too?”

 

“Jongin, I never lied about my feelings toward you.” Sehun said desperately but Jongin really didn’t know what to believe anymore.

 

“I don’t know, Sehun. It feels like you are a stranger to me now. Turns out I don’t know anything about you.” Jongin spit out harshly and he was not even sorry when he saw the way Sehun’s face fell.

 

“What are you still doing here?” Jongin asked, keeping his gaze on the table in front of him instead of Sehun.

 

“What?”

 

“Leave. I don’t want to see you again.”

 

“Jongin..”

 

Jongin closed his eyes to hold back his tears. He ignored the sound of his breaking heart and clenched his fists tightly. “I don’t want to date a slut.”

 

A gasp escaped Sehun’s lips. His eyes snapped open when a slap landed on his right cheek and he stared at Sehun in shock. His skin was stinging but it couldn’t be compared with the pain in his heart at the way Sehun looked at him. He had never seen Sehun looked so mad before.

 

“I can’t believe that you out all of people called me that. It was something that I had tried so hard to forget. Do you think I loved what I was doing? Do you think I enjoyed sleeping with strangers that I was not interested in? Do you think I liked it when they hit me and abused me? I did it because I had no other choice. I am not saying what I did is right. But because of that job I was able to keep my mother alive for three years before she finally passed away.” Sehun was screaming and Jongin was too taken aback to do anything.

 

“It’s my fault for lying to you. I am not asking you to forgive me. But I won’t let you to call me that because you don’t know anything, Jongin. I am sorry I lied to you. I am sorry I hurt you. But I meant it when I said I love you. I meant it when I said you make me happy. I lied because I was afraid to lose you. But I shouldn’t have lied in the first place, because now I am still going to lose you.” Sehun sobbed while wiping his tears away harshly. “I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore. I am leaving now.”

 

Jongin just sat there and watched as Sehun walked away. The moment the door closed, Sehun was gone, and so did his heart.

  


***

  


When his parents called him in the evening to ask him about the dinner, Jongin lied to them and told them that Sehun was not feeling well so they couldn’t go today. He didn’t have the heart to tell his parents what actually happened.

  


***

  


The bed was too big for him and he had never realized that his room was this cold. It definitely felt different without Sehun here. He was so used to having Sehun in his arms or the other way round, but from today onwards he would need to learn how to sleep alone again.

 

He belatedly realized that Sehun had left without his stuffs and with nowhere to live. It made him feel queasy and the tears that had dried down threatened to spill again. He scolded himself for being worried. They had broken up. Sehun hurt him, and he shouldn’t care about Sehun anymore. He needed to stop.

 

It would take time for him to heal the wound in his heart. Sehun was an important part of his life and he knew he wouldn’t heal easily. But Sehun was gone. He _asked_ Sehun to leave. There’s no more turning back and he would have to deal it whether he liked it or not.

  


***

  


Jongin was a wreck. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat, and he didn’t have the energy and motivation to leave the house. It had been two days since Sehun left and he hadn’t gone to work since then. Thankfully his boss was his brother so he could take a few days off easily.

 

He was planning to stay home for the rest of the week and cried over his heartbreak alone, but his brother had another plan. He should have known that Junmyeon was going to worry about him because he rarely took days off and the reason that he had given Junmyeon was that he was not feeling well. Well, he was not lying.

 

“What happened to you?” Junmyeon asked as soon as Jongin opened the door for him. “Why do you look like shit?”

 

Jongin was not in the mood to reply Junmyeon’s remark with a sarcastic answer. He just shrugged before walking back to the living room and let his body fell on the couch, burying his face on the cushion.

 

“Are you okay?” Junmyeon’s concerned voice asked him and Jongin shook his head because no, he was definitely not okay and he wanted to cry again.

 

“What happened? You look like you have been crying for days. Where is Sehun?” The question caused Jongin’s heart to crack again and he buried his face deeper into the cushion to hide the sobs he let out.

 

“Did you guys had a fight?” Junmyeon asked carefully. He was seated on the floor next to Jongin and his hand was caressing Jongin’s back gently.

 

“We broke up.” Jongin mumbled and he heard a loud gasp coming from Junmyeon. He finally lifted his head from the couch and turned around to face Junmyeon with his tears-stained cheeks. “He left.”

 

“What? Why?” Junmyeon asked in disbelief. Junmyeon was really fond of Sehun and he was their biggest supporter.

 

Jongin bit his trembling lip before sitting up on the couch and Junmyeon moved to sit next to him. Jongin took a deep breath to calm himself down a little bit before he told Junmyeon the whole story. He had to pause every now and then because he couldn’t hold back the sobs and Junmyeon wrapped an arm around his shoulder to comfort him.

 

“It hurts so fucking much, hyung.” Jongin cried onto his brother’s chest. Junmyeon rested his chin on Jongin’s head and hugged him tighter. “I love him so much. I have pictured our future together. But turns out he has been lying to me all this time and I just couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that he was able to hurt me like this. I thought he loved me too.”

 

Junmyeon stayed silent because he knew that’s what Jongin needed the most right now. He would have to wait until Jongin was calm enough before he could say anything, from a very unbiased point of view because he knew Jongin needed it.

 

“Jongin-ah,” Junmyeon called softly after fifteen minutes had passed, “do you really think it’s the right decision?”

 

Jongin sat up abruptly and pinned Junmyeon down with an incredulous stare. “What are you talking about? He hurt me! He lied to me! Do you think I wanted this to happen? I don’t want to lose him too but he gave me no other choice.”

 

“Jongin, listen to me.” Junmyeon started off slowly. He reached out to rub Jongin’s arm up and down and waited until Jongin calmed down before he continued, “What Sehun did was wrong. He shouldn’t have lied to you. He hurts you, I got it. I understand how you are feeling right now. You feel betrayed by the person you love the most. Of course you will be angry.” Junmyeon paused to gauge on Jongin’s reaction. When Jongin just stared at his laps without saying anything, he took that as a cue for him to keep going.

 

“But Jongin, have you tried to look at things from his perspective? He had a rough past. His only family was his ill mother. He had no one to rely on from such a young age and he needed money to keep his mother alive. Sehun, he must have been so desperate at that time until he decided to sell himself to earn money. I might not know Sehun as well as you know him, but I have known him long enough to know that if he had a choice he wouldn’t have chosen that job.”

 

Jongin sniffled and Junmyeon grabbed his hand to hold it tightly. “Then he saw you. He told you didn’t he? He fell in love with you at the first sight. The first time he saw you, you were with me and mom and dad. He saw you, being happy with a family that he didn’t have. Of course he would assume that you wouldn’t want to even talk to him if you know about the truth.”

 

“He just wanted to be with you. He was willing to do anything, even hiding about his past and his background. Again, it was not the smartest thing to do. But he was desperate. He had a rough past, and I believe all that he had ever wanted was to find his own happiness. He saw it in you. He knew he would be happy with you and he was willing to risk everything. For God’s sake Jongin, when his mother died he was already dating you, it must have been so hard for him to hide his feelings, he must have been so broken and no one was there to comfort him.”

 

“He still shouldn’t have lied to me.” Jongin said defensively.

 

Junmyeon sighed. “Then tell me, Jongin. If at that time Sehun told you about his family, about his job, would you still accept him? Answer it honestly.”

 

Jongin hung his head low. “I-I don’t know.” He probably wouldn’t mind about Sehun’s family background but he would surely be disturbed by Sehun’s job as a prostitute.

 

“He just wanted to be worthy for you.” Junmyeon said softly.

 

“But I just don’t know what to believe anymore. Did he even love me?”

 

“Are you seriously doubting his love for you?” Junmyeon sighed exasperatedly. “Jongin, if there’s anything I am sure about, it is that Sehun loves you so much. How can you, out all of people, questioned about his feelings for you? Even I can see and feel it Jongin. From the way he stared at you, from the way he smiled whenever your name was being mentioned, from the way he worried when you were sick. It’s too obvious and it’s impossible for him to fake it.”

 

Jongin was still unsure and Junmyeon knew it. “Jongin, do you still love Sehun?”

 

“Of course I do. But I-”

 

“No but. Listen carefully,” Junmyeon turned Jongin’s body to face him and forced Jongin to look at him, “Love, ultimately, is about the heart not about the truth.”

 

The words hit Jongin like a train and he gasped. What Junmyeon said made so much sense and now he felt like a jerk for not trying to understand Sehun and said all those hurtful words to him. Truth to be told, he always knew Sehun loved him. He could feel it, could see it every time in Sehun’s eyes. He was just trying to lie to himself all this time because he thought that it would be easier for him to move on.

 

But Junmyeon made him realized that yes, love was about the heart, not the truth. He still loved Sehun, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop even after what happened. He would still love Sehun, even after he found out about Sehun’s past. Why did he just realize it now? Why was he being so stupid?

 

“Hyung, it’s too late,” Jongin cried out, “Sehun has left.”

 

“Have you tried calling him?” Junmyeon asked.

 

“I don’t think he will pick up.” Jongin said dejectedly.

 

“Just try, Jongin. You never know.” Just then, Junmyeon’s phone rang and he sent Jongin an apologetic look before he picked it up. “Hello? What? Okay, okay. I will be there in ten.” Junmyeon hung up before he looked at Jongin again. “I need to leave now. Will you be okay alone? I will drop by again at night.”

 

“It’s okay, hyung. I will be fine.”

 

Junmyeon stood up before he ruffled Jongin’s hair affectionately. “You will find him, and he will come back.”

 

“Thank you, hyung. Without you I wouldn’t have realized how stupid I was.” Jongin sent Junmyeon a grateful smile.

 

“That’s what brother is for. Call me if you need anything.” Junmyeon smiled.

 

“Okay.”

  


***

  


All of his calls went straight to the mailbox and he almost ripped his hair off his scalp as he paced around the living room. Sehun didn’t pick up his calls and he didn’t know where Sehun was staying. Great.

 

He tried to think of the places that Sehun might go but he couldn’t think of any. He was becoming more and more anxious and he felt like going crazy, until a thought hit him.

 

He rushed into the bathroom and took a quick shower before changing into a more presentable clothes. Grabbing his car key, he dashed toward the door and left the house.

 

It took him around ten minutes to arrive at the park he and Sehun visited a couple of days ago. He knew the chance was small but he was willing to try if that could help him to find Sehun. He looked around the park, trying to find the person he was looking for. Seriously, the more he thought about it the more absurd he thought the idea was. He didn’t even know if that person always came to this park or not.

 

It had been fifteen minutes but no sign of the person yet. He almost gave up when he spotted him and he immediately ran toward the guy, almost bumping onto an old lady on his way.

 

“Baekhyun!” He yelled and Baekhyun turned around in confusion. Baekhyun’s eyes widened slightly when he saw Jongin.

 

Baekhyun looked flustered when he finally stood in front of the shorter guy and something clicked in his head. “Sehun came to find you, didn’t he?” Jongin asked.

 

Baekhyun’s silence was an obvious answer to him. “Do you know where he is now?”

 

When Baekhyun still remained silent and avoided eye-contact with him, he let out a frustrated groan. “Baekhyun, please. I need your help. I made a big mistake and I want to make up for it.”

 

Baekhyun finally looked at him. “You don’t hate Sehun?”

 

“Of course not!” Jongin said quickly.

 

“From what Sehun told me you were pretty mad that night and you even asked him to leave after saying some hurtful words toward him.” Baekhyun crossed his arms in front of his chest and sent Jongin a glare. “Calling him a slut hurts him badly. You are at no position to judge him for what he did. He has always tried to forget about his past you know. He experienced a lot of bad things while working and he even became suicidal at one point of his life. I don’t know how many times I have caught him with bloody wrist sitting under the hot spray. He didn’t want to do it but he had no choice. All of us had no choice. But then he was lucky he met you and he found a new hope that’s why he decided to quit, but looks like he was not that lucky anyway. The love of his life, the light of hope that made him want to stay alive, abandoned him just because he told a few lies.” Baekhyun scoffed, clearly upset at Jongin.

 

Jongin winced at Baekhyun’s words and he felt the pang in his heart at the newfound information about Sehun harming himself. He really didn’t know what Sehun had gone through and it hurt to think that Sehun had gone through all of that alone.

 

“I know. I know I was wrong. It was just the heat of the moment. I was so angry to find out that he has been lying to me all this time. I just..at that time I just thought everything he did and said was a lie too. I was having a hard time to process what he just told me and it hurts me too.” Jongin rubbed his hands on his face in frustration.

 

“Do you really mean it?” Baekhyun asked. Jongin put his hands down and stared at Baekhyun.

 

“About what?”

 

“That you don’t hate Sehun.”

 

“I don’t hate him. I can’t hate him. Yes, I was angry at him, but now I realized that the truth shouldn’t matter because I love him.”

 

“So you still love him, huh?” Baekhyun asked him, his tone was challenging.

 

“Yes I do.” Jongin replied confidently. “That’s why I need to find him so I can tell him this.”

 

Baekhyun studied him for a few moments and Jongin let him. There was nothing to hide and he was sincere about his feelings. Baekhyun let out a sigh before he said, “Sehun is not in Seoul anymore. He left last night.”

 

Jongin panicked. “Where did he go? Did he tell you?”

 

“Calm down. He is still in Korea. He went back to his hometown. His mother was buried there.” Baekhyun answered.

 

“Can you give me the address?”

 

Baekhyun held his hand out and Jongin stared at it in confusion. Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Give me your phone. I am going to write it down there since none of us have paper and pen.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Jongin took out his phone from his pocket before handing it to Baekhyun. He watched as Baekhyun typed in the address and Jongin could see the hope again.

 

“Here you go.” Baekhyun gave his phone back to him.

 

“Thank you so much. I owe you for this. I am going to treat you for lunch if everything goes well.” Jongin held his phone close to his chest.

 

Baekhyun smiled. “It’s nothing. Sehun is like a little brother to me. I know how much you meant to him and I want him to be happy too.”

 

“Thank you. I need to go now.”

 

Jongin was about to turn around when Baekhyun called him. “Yes?”

 

“Sehun is a nice person. He didn’t have any bad intention by lying to you. He simply just wanted to be with you.” Baekhyun said seriously.

 

Jongin smiled. “I know.”

  


***

  


It took him eight hours by train to arrive at Sehun’s hometown. It was a small city and it was very calm, unlike Seoul. Jongin looked around him the moment he stepped out of the station. So this was where Sehun grew up. An odd warmth feeling invaded him but it was not unwelcomed.

 

Thankfully, even though it was a small city there were still cabs around. Getting into a vacant taxi, he greeted the driver before showing him the address that Baekhyun gave him.

 

“Ah, I know this place.” The driver said.

 

Jongin smiled. “Can you bring me there, please?”

 

“Sure young man.” The driver replied before he started driving.

 

Throughout the drive, Jongin couldn’t help but to notice how nervous he was. He was excited to see Sehun again but at the same he was scared of Sehun’s reaction. Would Sehun be happy to him? Or would he still be angry at Jongin?

 

However, no matter what Sehun’s reaction was, Jongin was not going to give up without putting up a fight. He loved Sehun, and he would do anything he could to bring Sehun back with him.

  


***

  


The taxi stopped in front of a small house. Jongin paid the driver and thanked him before getting off. The house looked old and rusty. There was no sign that someone was staying there. Did Baekhyun give him the wrong address?

 

Then suddenly the door opened and a thin and pale-looking Sehun appeared while holding a bouquet of flower in his right hand. Jongin’s breath hitched at the sight of the love of his life. Sehun hadn’t noticed him yet because the younger was busy fiddling with the keys. So Jongin took his time to take in Sehun’s appearance.

 

It had just been six days but Sehun looked really different from the last time Jongin saw him. Sehun was much thinner, much paler. The dark circles under his eyes were very obvious and Sehun’s chin and jaw were covered in stubble. It’s so unlike Sehun because Sehun was the type of person to shave his face everyday.

 

It dawned upon him that Sehun must be having a hard time too and he had no one to blame but himself. If only he had opened his eyes and heart sooner, this wouldn’t have happened.

 

“Sehun.” Jongin called and Sehun immediately froze. The keys and flowers fell off his hands before he slowly, very slowly lifted his head to meet Jongin’s gaze.

 

Sehun’s jaw dropped in surprise and he blinked his eyes several times, as if not believing that Jongin was really standing in front of him right now. Jongin waited nervously, anticipating the worst response from Sehun.

 

“Jongin?” Sehun asked in disbelief.

 

“Yes, it’s me. Hi.” Jongin smiled awkwardly.

 

“ How did you find out I was here?” Sehun asked, still unmoving from his spot on the doorstep.

 

“Baekhyun told me.”

 

Sehun pursed his lips before breaking the eye-contact with him. “Why are you here?” Sehun asked in a small voice.

 

Jongin took several steps forward and he was glad Sehun didn’t back away even though the younger became more tensed than before. Jongin didn’t blame him.

 

“I want to talk.” Jongin said carefully.

 

“About what? I thought we are over.” Sehun said coldly.

 

“Sehun,” his voice was gentler this time and he stopped when he was just a step away from Sehun. This close, he could hear Sehun’s heavy breathing and he could see the way Sehun’s body was trembling. Despite trying to look cold, Sehun was scared, but it’s okay because he was too.

 

“I have something to tell you. Will you listen to me?” Jongin asked.

 

Sehun looked a little bit hesitant before he gave in and nodded stiffly.

 

“I am sorry. For everything I said to you that night,” Jongin started, eyes never leaving Sehun, “I was too shocked at the revelation, and I was too clouded by the anger to think rationally. I shouldn’t have said all those hurtful words to you.”

 

Sehun shook his head with a bitter chuckle. “I deserved it.”

 

“No, no you don’t. Sehun, I was upset because you lied to me and it took me so long to understand why you did it. You have to believe me. I don’t hate you for what you did. I understand now why you lied to me. I really do.”

 

“Okay, good to know that.” Sehun said curtly before he walked pass Jongin. Jongin didn’t expect that reaction and he quickly turned around to grab Sehun’s wrist.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Weren’t you done?” Sehun asked with his back facing Jongin.

 

“No. I have more things to say. Please.” Jongin pleaded. He took Sehun’s silence as a permission and he quickly continued what he wanted to say. “I love you Sehun. I still do and will always do. I forgive you, so can you please come back to me? I missed you.” He was feeling choked up but he held back his tears because he didn’t want to cry now.

 

Sehun tensed up again and Jongin tightened his grip on Sehun’s thin wrist.

 

“I can’t, Jongin.” Sehun said quietly.

 

Jongin felt his heart dropped to his stomach. “Why not?”

 

“I am ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of what I did and I don’t think I can go back to you without feeling guilty all the time.” Sehun’s voice cracked at the end of the sentence and he tried to free his hand from Jongin’s grip but Jongin was having none of it.

 

“That’s bullshit, Sehun. I was the one who decided to come to you. I was the one who asked you to come back to me. I have forgiven you so why would you feel guilty?” Jongin asked but Sehun didn’t answer and then he realized something. “Is it about what you worked as in the past?” He asked carefully.

 

“I was so selfish. I lied to you so I could be with you. My body was dirty but I still slept with you. All this time I was taking advantage of you. I can’t do it anymore. I feel sick about myself. So, Jongin, please. Let me go.” Sehun cried and Jongin’s heart broke at the sound.

 

“I can’t. I am sorry, but I can’t let you go.” Jongin tugged at Sehun’s wrist and Sehun tumbled backward until his back hit Jongin’s chest. Jongin let go of Sehun’s wrist to wrapped his arms around Sehun’s shoulder and pulled him closer. “I am sorry for calling you a slut. I didn’t mean it you need to believe me. You are not a slut, and you are not dirty. I don’t care about your background or about your past. I don’t care. I just want to be with you, because I love you.”

 

“Jongin, please don’t do this.” Sehun cried harder.

 

“I am sorry I doubted your love for me. I was so stupid. I love you, and I know you love me too, so please give us another chance.” Jongin hugged him tighter and pressed his lips in the crook of Sehun’s neck.

 

“I don’t deserve you.”

 

“We deserve each other.”

 

Sehun finally relaxed in his hold and leaned back against him. “Why would you forgive someone like me?” Sehun asked in wonder.

 

“Because I love you. And in love, the truth doesn’t matter. It’s what the heart wants that matter.” Jongin answered smoothly.

 

“I really don’t deserve you.”

 

“Stop saying that.” Jongin chided him softly.

 

“I am sorry, Jongin. For lying to you, for hurting you. Thank you for coming to me. Thank you for giving us another chance. I love you. I really do.”

 

“I know. I know, Sehun-ah.” Jongin smiled against Sehun’s neck.

  


***

  


“So last year when you left for a week, saying that you were visiting your mother in Japan, was when your mother passed away?” Jongin asked after they arrived at the cemetery where Sehun’s mother was buried.

 

Sehun gave him an apologetic smile. “Yeah. It was quite a hassle to bring her body from Seoul to here. But I have promised her to bury her here if she passes away.”

 

“You went through all of that alone.” Jongin’s tone was sad and Sehun squeezed his hand.

 

“I was the one who chose that path. Maybe that’s God’s punishment for me for lying.” Sehun tried to sound like he was joking but Jongin knew better.

 

They stopped in front of Sehun’s mother’s grave and Jongin let go of Sehun’s hand so the latter could put the flower on top of it. Sehun knelt down and Jongin joined him.

 

“Mom, I brought Jongin with me. You know him, right? He is someone who changes my life and makes me happy. You must really like him, huh?” Sehun smiled while caressing the gravestone.

 

Jongin listened to Sehun in silence with a small smile on his face. He leaned in closer so he could wrap his arm around Sehun’s waist.

 

“I will take care of him and so you don’t need to worry. Sehun is happy here so I hope you will be happy there too.” Jongin said and Sehun turned to look at him in awe. “What?” Jongin asked with a tilt of his head.

 

Sehun only smiled before shaking his head. “Mom, aren’t I lucky to have him as my boyfriend?”

 

Jongin chuckled before he pecked Sehun’s cheek. “I love you.” Jongin muttered against Sehun’s temple.

 

Sehun let out a content sigh before snuggling closer into Jongin’s side. “I love you too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on twitter: @babysehunnieee


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